Mo Premium, Mo Problems

(spoken intro, smooth hype voice)

Yeahhh…

Your boy Poker Pilot back at it again.

Shout out to my boy Phil who has a craaaazy Ex Wife.

Another reassignment… another premium trigger…

Another captain tryna explain why he needs the money…

Mo premium… mo problems, baby…

(beat drops, melodic hook)

Mo premium, mo problems

Soon as that pay hits, everybody got options

Boat on the lake, condo down in Naples

Three ex-wives got him flyin’ a crazy schedule

Mo premium, mo problems

Every reroute turnin’ into dollar signs and nonsense

U.P.A got ’em all refreshin’ Crew Portal late

Chasin’ that green line credit like it’s fate

(rap verse, laid back swagger)

Captain pull up in a Yukon Denali

Sayin’ “I need this trip, man, my alimony costly”

Section 20 this, reassignment that

Dude calculatin’ premium while he brief the damn departure

One guy got a lake house up in Michigan

Another got a ski trip with expenses kickin’ in

One bought a fishing boat bigger than his slip

Now he prayin’ for senior manning every trip

Everybody talkin’ “I’m just here for the flying”

But they smile different when the premium multiplying

Weather in Newark? They ain’t even mad

“Delay me two more hours, that’s add pay I never had”

And the F.O. fresh hired thinkin’ life is sweet

Till he see these captains hustlin’ reserve on their feet

One says, “Kid, let me tell you how this game go…”

Then opens up an Excel sheet for his Tahoe

(melodic hook, bigger energy)

Mo premium, mo problems

Soon as that pay hits, everybody got options

Boat on the lake, condo down in Naples

Three ex-wives got him flyin’ a crazy schedule

Mo premium, mo problems

Every reroute turnin’ into dollar signs and nonsense

U.P.A got ’em all refreshin’ Crew Portal late

Chasin’ that green line credit like it’s fate

(beat switch, faster flow)

Now the group chat blowin’ up at 3 AM

“Anybody see that premium ORD-GCM?”

Somebody droppin’ screenshots like stock exchange trends

“Bro it’s 100 percent, call your scheduler friends!”

Meanwhile another captain on wife number four

Tryna justify a golf cart and a marble floor

Sayin’ “This trip right here pays for Cabo”

Then he picks up a turn that lands at 2 tomorrow

Got a buddy workin’ every holiday alive

Cause his daughter’s out in Scottsdale livin’ influencer life

Another got twins both headed off to college

So he pickin’ up premiums like it’s aviation knowledge

And every time Crew Scheduling call the phone

Dudes answer faster than they own kids at home

“Hello? … premium? … deadhead included too?”

Bro already packin’ snacks before the call is through

(slowed down bridge, smooth confidence)

Yeahhhh…

Everybody got a reason

Some pay tuition… some fund bad decisions

Some buy jet skis… some buy Rolexes

Some just tryna survive second divorces and Lexus-es

U.P.A language got ’em feelin’ like lawyers

Arguin’ rig and premium while eatin’ airport oysters

And somehow every month they swear they’re done

Till another green dollar sign trip pop up… then they run

(final hook, anthem energy)

Mo premium, mo problems

Every reroute got the pilots out here mobbin’

Premium alerts got the whole crew locked in

Like Wall Street traders with roller bags walkin’

Mo premium, mo problems

Soon as that pay hits, everybody starts callin’

Boat payments, lake trips, alimony drama

Still signin’ up for premium tomorrow mornin’

(spoken outro)

Yeahhhh…

Another month… another premium chase…

Another captain explainin’ why he absolutely needed that trip…

Meanwhile Crew Scheduling sittin’ back like…

“We got ’em again.”

Poker Pilot out.